Whatever This Is
by rgonzberg
Summary: A Veronica Mars story roughly starting from where Season 3 left off. Taking into account what has been hinted at for the movie. Contains Pizonica friendship but ultimately a story of LoVe. Feedback welcome. Disclaimer: None of Veronica Mars belongs to me.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"It's graduation day," Veronica mumbled to herself. "I can't believe these last three years at Stanford are ending." As she stood in the bathroom of the two bedroom apartment she shared with her with her only real friend in Northern California, she contemplated the transition her life had taken since she'd chosen to leave Neptune behind for good. While she'd seen her dad, Mac and Wallace on their various trips up north to visit, she'd never had the guts to travel back home and risk facing any of her ex-boyfriends.

"VERONICA! It's time to go! We've got to be at the café in ten minutes, you know how much Keith hates when we don't meet him on time when he's come just to see you," shouted her roommate, Fiona.

"Coming!" shouted Veronica in reply.

Coming out to the entryway, Veronica explained, "sorry, I got distracted thinking about what today means."

"Well let's go, we'll have plenty of time to reminisce at breakfast with Keith," Fiona teased.

Heading down the stairs together, both deep in thought remember the first day they had met.

_Flashback_

_Veronica had just arrived at transfer orientation at Stanford, excited and nervous for the potential of what was to come, she found a seat in the middle of the array of chairs set up in the field house, although set away from where everyone else was gathering. She didn't know how to approach these people, how did she really want to present herself. Surely not the former teen detective from corrupt Neptune, but then who was she. Here she was with the fresh start she had been looking for but even her summer at the FBI internship didn't prepare her for being a new person at a large elite university._

_As Veronica sat, spacing out and considering what she'd say to introduce herself, she didn't notice a bubbly fresh faced young women bouncing towards her._

"_Hi, my name is Fiona! I'm a digital studies transfer from Albuquerque, New Mexico. What about you?" came an excited interruption to her thoughts._

"_Uhh hey… I'm Veronica," she hesitantly responded._

"_Oh I love that name! What are you here to study?" Fiona chattered on._

"_Umm, I'm thinking I'll be a psych major with a pre-law track." Veronica responded trying to seem like she knew what she wanted to do._

"_Really? That's not what you studied at your previous school?" Fiona questioned._

_Veronica was starting to feel comfortable with this welcoming, cheery face. After all, she was here for a fresh start and no better time to take advantage. "I was psych before, but was working towards being a field agent at the FBI. But I might also take some photography classes while I'm here. What school did you transfer from?"_

"_Oh, I was at the University of Albuquerque, but I realized I didn't want the Catholic ideology so ingrained in my education," Fiona responded seriously._

"_I wasn't sure what to expect transferring from a small school but I think I'm going to really like it here," Veronica contemplated. With that, Fiona sat down in the chair next to her and neither of them spoke for a while. They both were comfortable, aware that they already were getting along despite the differences at first glance._

They had been close ever since, initially bonding over their shared interest in photography and media studies, but overall simply becoming each other's support system while living away from everyone they knew.

The walk to the cafe was a quiet one, but they were so comfortable in each other's company and had been to the Choc-O-Pain cafe so often during their three years it didn't faze them. Seeing her father seated at a table on the outside patio put a smile on Veronica's face, "Daddy!" she exclaimed as she approached him, "I'm so glad you made it up."

"Like I'd miss the special day when my daughter graduates from Stanford with a psychology degree with honors? It's just too bad that Mac and Wallace can't be here to see you," Keith greeted her with equal excitement.

"It'll be weird not being able to see them once I move, but let's grab some breakfast. Fiona and I have to be at the chapel to line up for graduation in an hour," Veronica replied with little enthusiasm.

"Remind me when you two have to be out of the apartment? Have you actually been packing? Or are we going to just be throwing all your stuff into the U-Haul and going?" Keith quizzed them.

Fiona jumped in before Veronica had a chance, "I'm almost all set but she's been nearly useless all week."

"Ha ha, Fiona, ha ha. Dad, do you really think I'd be like that. Real nice, I've been set for a week," Veronica snarked.

As they ate their eggs and drank coffee, they continue to discuss the impending graduation and both women's moves out of California. The big moment was coming faster than Veronica had anticipated. The first chapter of this change of her life was coming to a close. She'd left it all behind, and she was going to continue to look forward, at the light that was shining bright leading her to the next step of the way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Veronica sat waiting for her name to be called, positioned between a Mankiewicz and a Martinez, two guys she had never met before. Being half way through the alphabet meant for an agonizing wait to collect her diploma. Now she just wanted it over with. She was ready for the next phase of her life to start now.

She sat there, aimlessly listening, but catching a name here and there. "...Burke..." announced the dean. "...Fiona Katz..." she heard later, which briefly brought her out of her stupor to cheer. Veronica was glad she'd found Fiona, the bright, bubbly redhead had become her rock after she'd left her others behind. After the years of Neptune, she'd become even more guarded, and while Fiona had been able to weasel her way past the barriers, over the course of three years she had never progressed to having additional friends.

She'd arrived at Stanford jaded and ready to change her life, but it had been harder than she had expected. Leaving behind everything she was familiar with and shifting her academic focus had made socializing beyond Fiona uninteresting. As Veronica sat there, in the blazing June California sun waiting, she found a hint of a smile finding its way to her face. She had two of the four most important people in her life watching her make this momentous transition, Keith and Fiona. All she needed was Wallace and Mac, but she knew that tension of balancing friendships with her and everyone else was hard in them. She missed her two friends, but they were leading separate lives now, different tracks that didn't lead to the same end point.

Her reverie was suddenly broken to the sounds of "...Seth Mankiewicz …" from the Dean. Finally, "Veronica Mars" was announced to the whooping cheers of her father. She walked confidently across the stage to meet President John Hennessy to shake hands and receive her diploma. As she went, she looked out at the crowd gathered for the event. Out of the thousands of people out there, she only knew two. Although proud, Veronica realized for the briefest of moments of how sheltered she had become and extreme her walls were even compared to the ones she'd built in Neptune.

Walking down the steps, she reached up and switched her tassel. She was officially a college graduate. Her eyes scanned the crowd and she found her father, even with the distance she could see the giddy happiness overtaking his face. He had stuck by her after everything, reciprocating back when she'd taken his side. Now he was able to see her complete undergraduate studies at her dream school.

Upon reaching Keith, he handed her an envelope. She quipped excitedly, "Did you get me a pony?!" He gave a laughing smile, as he watched her open the envelope. Inside she found a check. Veronica looked at her father in complete shock, how had he managed this.

"Dad, how'd you come up with this?" she asked him quizzically. She'd always assumed they didn't have much money, how had he been able to hand over a check for the initial amount of her college fund that she'd lost to her mother. It was too much, and she didn't understand how she was supposed to actually accept this. Were there strings attached to this, or was her father really freely handing over a check of this magnitude.

"The private investigator business has been going well. See what you miss when you spend years away from your old man?" Keith replied. "I've been saving ever since I first heard you gave your money to Leanne. I wanted to give you something after your sacrifice for her."

"I don't believe it. You really didn't have to. Do you really mean to tell me you could have been living better these past few years but you stuck with that life just to give me this?" Veronica quipped. "I mean, I'm grateful and thankful, but come on, I know you've always talked about that middle class lifestyle. This could have given it to you."

"Veronica, don't you realize I'd do anything for you. I couldn't be more proud of you," Keith stated earnestly. Veronica stood there baffled, they'd struggled for so long, yet here was a check for all they'd lost and her father was ready to hand it over to her. It just didn't make any sense. She'd thought she'd left everything behind, but clearly Keith wasn't ready to let her.

Veronica's contemplation of the bizarre turn of events was interrupted by the shrieking happiness of Fiona. "We did it, we finally did it!" Fiona exclaimed not noticing the confused look gracing her friend's face.

Veronica nodded absent-mindedly at her friend. She knew how much her father loved her but this didn't make sense. It was too much money, how much had he really sacrificed to come up with this in time for her college graduation. "Veronica, what's going on?" came the sudden voice of her friend.

She turned to Fiona, holding out her hand, "Dad just gave this to me."

Fiona looked what Veronica handed over, "Well, this sure isn't a pony, but shouldn't you be excited! You've worked so hard, we both have. It's time for the next adventure and you've got the starter for it."

"I know, I know. I just can't believe it, I never expected him make this big a sacrifice," Veronica responded still baffled. Then suddenly her attention switched, "Alright, enough of this. We've got to get back to the apartment and start filling up the U-Haul." Veronica rushed off not paying attention to who was following, as Fiona stood there confused.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Fiona stood there watching her best friend run off. She'd never seen her like this. Was this what she had been like before; what she was like with people other than herself? Suddenly, Veronica wasn't the confident roommate Fiona had known at these past years. Rather, the situation seemed to show that even as they had grown close, Veronica had never completely divulged her past. Fiona began to suddenly see the jaded woman who had left behind a life she didn't want to recall. While it shocked Fiona to a degree, she couldn't be all that surprised. Veronica was about to make another huge transition, and as she thought about it, Fiona realized that maybe her friend's history was coming back into play. They were heading to different places. She'd found a position at a design firm in Seattle, but Veronica was heading out east for law school at Columbia.

As Fiona followed after with Keith by her side, she decided to see what she could get out of him regarding his daughter. "So, what's up with her? I've never seen her quite like this before."

"That's Veronica for you. She's headstrong, and you'll never quite get her to show her whole self. My daughter has been putting up walls for a long time now," Keith attempted to explain. Fiona thought she was beginning to understand that she didn't actually know the other side of Veronica Mars. Her friend had managed to keep parts of herself and her history an elusive mystery and Fiona was beginning to realize that that was what Veronica Mars was all about.

'I guess I thought after three years that I knew her," Fiona stated trying to grapple with the sudden revelation. She'd come to refer to the blonde as her best friend, but what did that sentiment mean when it turns out she didn't actually know her.

"Once she moves, I'm hoping she'll start therapy. It's been tough seeing her like this; I thought this change would help her. To a degree it did. I know she missed having Mac and Wallace around. You've been good for her." Keith tried explaining to Fiona. They'd gotten to know each other pretty well throughout Keith's various visits over the years. Fiona was glad she had bonded with him, but she didn't know how to process this.

The conversation came to a lull as Fiona continued to try and grapple with her new knowledge. What this meant for their friendship, and would Veronica actually share any of this with her. Fiona was starting to doubt the past three years.

Veronica arrived back at the apartment in a hurry get the truck packed up and get a move on. She moved boxes around, trying to evaluate what needed to go into the truck first. She was focused and avoiding thinking about the events that had just occurred. All she needed now was to make it to the next step. A month ago, she'd decided to move to New York City. She had been accepted into Columbia University Law School. She was finally ready for the long term restart of her life, or so she thought. As she settled into a rhythm, moving boxes by appropriate weight and size as systematically as possible.

When Keith and Fiona finally arrived, Veronica was so focused and productive moving her belongings into the truck that she barely registered their presence. She was almost automatic, as she attempted to move her mattress out of the apartment.

"Ugh, come on stupid mattress," Veronica finally spoke, more to the mattress than either of the people suddenly trying to help her move it.

"Come on, Veronica, let us help you," Fiona tried to talk to her, but Veronica wasn't taking it. Then, Keith took charge,

"Sweetie, we've got to get this into the truck without hurting anyone or breaking something," Keith finally broke through. "You go keep moving your boxes, Fiona and I will take care of this mattress."

Veronica silently let go as her father took control. Her mind was spinning a mile a minute and she'd just barely registered her father's request. As she continued working, she contemplated what was to come. She was moving to the big city of the East Coast. Box after box, mostly of books, needed moving. She had accumulated so many since she'd arrived at Stanford. As her mind switched back to recalling the past three years, she suddenly started thinking about the events (and more particularly the specific day) which led her to decide to leave Neptune.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter ****4**

_Flashback_

_It was the day after Logan had beaten up Gory Sorokin. Veronica had holed herself up in her bedroom. She knew that Piz had seen her face reacting to the scene that had unfolded in the student center. What could she say to him now, how was she going to face him again? They were technically still together. Even Veronica, the hard-walled, jaded person she was, couldn't bring herself to consider ending the relationship without facing it head on. She figured the relationship was as good as over, and from what she remembered of the day before, Piz probably was feeling the same way._

_She never intended for Piz to be second, but she couldn't shake the feelings she had for Logan even if weren't going to be together again. Right now she wasn't going to hurt anyone more than she had to. She may be the crass young woman everyone knew her expected by now, but she wasn't going to intentionally be a bitch and ruin lives. As she decided she needed to face Piz one last time, and that it needed to be today, she slowly made her way to the kitchen. Expecting to find her father, she was only greeted by a quiet bark and look from Back-Up in the corner. At least I have him, she thought. Back-Up had been her lifeline when no one else had been there. The fella was now getting on in age and no longer greeted her how she'd become accustomed to. She missed the big slobbering wriggles he'd give her when she got home or came out of her bedroom. She'd miss him for sure, she realized as approached him, giving him a scratch behind the ears before heading out of the apartment._

_Time to do this, she told herself. She was terrified, she'd never broken up with someone and she'd never so explicitly been the reason for a break-up before. Veronica tried to prepare herself as she got in her car and mindlessly drove to the Hearst campus. She'd texted Wallace earlier this morning and already knew that Piz would be alone in the dorm room. As she parked her car outside the building, she started to panic. What had she done? Would Piz even face her? Would she even get the opportunity to do this properly or was everything already too ruined? Veronica finally decided to just go in and to stop overanalyzing and psyching herself out. This needed to be done, and it needed to be done now._

_As she arrived at the dorm room door, she tried to calm herself inside and out as she went to knock. She'd barely knocked and Piz answered before she'd brought her hand fully back to her side. "Hi Veronica," Piz greeted her with little enthusiasm, standing in the doorway._

"_Can I come in? We need to talk," Veronica said hesitantly. The door swung open all the way, revealing the dorm room. It was mostly packed up and no longer felt like the welcoming room she'd spend so much time in over the past year, not that Piz was imparting any welcoming feelings either. "So," Veronica started. "I'm sorry, about yesterday."_

"_Uhh, yeah, that," Piz evasively replied. She still wasn't sure what else to say, a direct break up wasn't in her skill set. And he wasn't helping anything._

"_I think we need to break up," she stated abruptly. "I don't want to keep hurting you. I know you saw the look on my face yesterday." She carefully watched Piz's face, as she tried to keep herself in check, which revealed nothing about what he was thinking._

"_You're still in love with Logan, aren't you?" Piz stated matter of factly. Suddenly, Veronica started to see how this all may have affected him, in a different, greater way than she'd thought._

"_I think so, but I'm done with him. Logan and I are too explosive, even you've seen that." Veronica tried to sensibly respond. "So we're done now?"_

"_Yeah, I think it's best if we go our separate ways," Piz declared._

"_Alright," Veronica said sheepishly. "I guess no time like the present to tell you I've decided to transfer out of Hearst. I've applied to transfer to Stanford this fall. I'll be at the FBI for the summer internship."_

"_So this is goodbye, then." He replied bluntly. Veronica felt her own pain and was seeing that Piz's emotions were starting to crack._

"_Bye," she said quickly, turning on her heel and leaving the room. Veronica didn't want to stretch this out. They were over. She was leaving Neptune in a few days and she was moving on to the FBI and to Stanford. _

After leaving Piz's dorm room that day, after she received her transfer acceptance to Stanford, she hadn't looked back. Yet three years on, she was still trying to figure out whatever this is, what had she moved on to. She'd packed up all her belongings in the days after and gone to Virginia for the internship and continued straight to Stanford. Veronica had in a way steamrolled over her old life into her new one.

As she continued moving the final boxes out of her apartment, she attempted to prepare herself for the next step. Veronica had already sold the Saturn her father had given her four years prior. All she was left to do once the truck was filled was to get in and drive the forty-five hour trip to Manhattan. She'd have to say goodbye to her father and Fiona shortly.

In one fell swoop she was going from college student to a graduate student, from the West Coast to the East Coast. Today held all the change and she'd intended that, so she could get over any pain and heartache before she had to start classes at Columbia. Veronica had decided early on to take a summer pre-course so she could head to New York ahead of time. She also didn't want to have to consider heading back to Neptune, she was still avoiding the possibility of seeing any ex-boyfriends.

She finally turned to say goodbye to Keith and Fiona. "I'll miss you both," she said soberly. "It'll be weird to not live in the same state as you both anymore." She was letting some of her feeling show, but she couldn't help it. She wasn't sure when she'd see either of them next.

"You too, honey. Remember how proud I am of you. Now get in that truck and get your adventure started," Keith told her as he tried to hold back tears.

"We'll stay in touch," Fiona reminded her, as they hugged tightly. It wasn't a common thing between them, to hug, but it seemed deserved with the changes ahead of them.

As Veronica climbed into the cab of the truck, she waved stating, "I'm so grateful for both of you, don't forget that." And with that, she'd erased all doubts either Keith or Fiona had had about Veronica. She was ready to go, and she went.


	5. Chapter 5

11 months later:

Veronica rushed out of the door of her apartment. She was late, again, for a meeting with her law advisor. She was finalizing the details for her next semester before starting her summer law internship. She rushed down the stairs - the elevator was notorious for taking a million years to arrive - and practically ran to the academic quad and into the building.

As she arrived at Professor Anu Bradford's office, she paused for a moment to catch her breath. Professor Bradford was not just her advisor, but her mentor and her role model. Her own mother hadn't been much of anything for her. The professor had taken that place in a way. While Veronica knew it wouldn't be a huge problem that she was late, she also hated how she rarely made it anywhere on time. She was notoriously known on campus as the brilliant law student who was always the last one to arrive.

"Hi professor, sorry I'm late again," Veronica attempted to apologize but Bradford would have none of it.

"It's not a problem and you know that. How are you? Are you ready for the internship to start? I think it will really be a great fit for you. It's definitely not your standard law firm," the professor responded.

"I'm fine," she said tersely. As much as she loved her professor she wasn't here to talk about her feelings. She needed to finalize her schedule. "The internship looks interesting. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken in it. What did you need to know to finalize my schedule?"

"I know you wanted to take both Criminal Law and Analysis of Psychological Disorders but they overlap. I'd try and get you approval to take both, but between your other courses and the intensity of each of these on their own, I think it would be in your best interest to only take Psych Disorders. Crim Law is offered every semester and Psych Disorders very well may not come up again while you're at Columbia," Bradford explained.

"Ok, that makes sense. Let's do that. You can make the change for me, right?" Veronica abruptly stated.

"I'll get working on it right away. You'll get an email confirming the change once it's gone through," responded her professor.

"Okay, great," Veronica stated as she hurriedly got up and moved towards the door.

She rushed out of the entry hall of the academic building. In her hurry, she had her head down and her hands full of the papers she'd just had out for the meeting. Suddenly she hit someone and the papers went flying. As Veronica looked up, she never expected to see the face she saw. Standing in front of her was Piz.

Veronica had not seen Stosh "Piz" Piznarzki since the fateful day she had broken up with him and revealed she was leaving Neptune for good.

"Hello, Veronica," Piz said breaking her reverie.

"Piz, hi! What are you doing here?" Veronica replied still somewhat shocked as she watched him pick up the strewn papers at their feet.

"I work at a radio station nearby. I usually cut through the Law School on my way to work."

"Oh, wow. That's wonderful that it worked out for you," Veronica replied a bit disheartened.

"Are you a law student here?" Piz asked with genuine interest.

"Yeah, I just finished my 1L. I start my summer internship next weekend."

"Great, so you'll be around for the summer. I need to get to the station but I'd love to catch up over coffee sometime soon."

"Uhh sure," Veronica stated with some confusion. Why was he being so nice? Five years ago she was breaking his heart yet here he seemed like nothing had happened between them. He'd love to catch up? She'd never expected in a million years to have such a positive interaction with Piz since the last one had been so horrible.

"Great, shoot me a text sometime," he casually responded while handing over his business card.

As Piz walked away, Veronica stood there watching him walk away holding the card in her hand. This didn't make sense. She couldn't understand.

Trying to grapple with the situation, she finally moved towards a bench. Veronica was no longer in a hurry. Her internship prep could wait. She pulled out her smartphone and dialed a number she hadn't dialed in awhile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter ****6**

"Hey, Bond, long time to chat."

"Hey Q. Sorry distance and law school got in the way."

"It's understandable, V. But I've missed chatting. What's up though?"

"Mac, I just ran into Piz," Veronica jumped to the point.

"Wait, what? You just saw a certain Stosh Piznarski? Hasn't it been four years now?!" Mac questioned.

"Yeah. And I never expected to see him somewhere so far from Neptune."

"I think Wallace once mentioned in passing that Piz had made the move to NYC but I figured the city was so big you wouldn't see him."

"What? You knew all along? And you didn't tell me?" Veronica admonished slightly.

"I know, I know. So much for being your best friend but I has no idea how'd react and I didn't want to bring up the memories unnecessarily," Mac retorted.

"I get it. It just threw me for a loop just now when he seemed totally fine running into me, quite literally mind you. At least I definitely felt exponentially more agitated than he appeared. I mean, he even asked me out for coffee and gave me his cell number requesting a text."

"Yikes, not what I was expecting. But wait, where'd you run into him?"

"On my way out of a meeting with Professor Bradford. I was distracted, looking down and holding a stack of papers. No surprise nowadays really."

Veronica wished she was talking to Mac face-to-face. She'd remained close with both Mac and Wallace but it wasn't the same. Mac broke her thoughts of the two best friends she missed so dearly. "So what are you going to do? Planning on sending that text? I'm amazed that Piz knows you and decided to leave the decision in your hands."

"Ugh, I don't know. Not sure I can avoid this. He seemed so genuinely interested in catching up. And he cuts through the law school every day to and from work."

"He lives and works nearby? Who would have thought that you two would end up living so close?"

"But what do I even say to him? It doesn't feel like he's as surprised to see me as I was to see him." Veronica was confused. She wasn't prepared to confront this.

"Not sure, but might do you some good to just keep it casual and catch up on where you're both at now. You might also want to give Fiona a call. She'll have a fresh perspective that likely will prove useful."

"You're right. She doesn't know the full history and I can get standard straightforward feedback from her. Thanks, Mac. Not sure what I'd do without you."

"Well, luckily you'll never have to consider that. Now call Fiona and don't over think everything with Piz. Since that is something you do have to consider. Don't wait so long before calling next time, V." Mac wasn't sure how this encounter would affect her friend. She hoped reconnecting with Piz, someone she'd always been better staying friends with, would do her well in New York.

"Will do. Miss you." Veronica said as she hung up the phone. She quickly proceeded to dial her other best female friend.

"Hey, Veronica! How's my favorite roommate?" Fiona answered the phone in her usual cheering tone.

"I've been better, Fi. I just ran into my ex-boyfriend from Hearst. I think I mentioned Piz to you once or twice."

"Ah, yes, Piz." Fiona responded. Veronica wasn't quite sure what she meant. She didn't think she'd shared enough with Fiona to warrant that type of response. She was hoping for an response unaffected by details of her past with Piz.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, you know, just the guy that you left Neptune to get away from, if I recall correctly." Veronica tried to restrain a sigh of relief. She hadn't done a tell all yet with Fiona.

"Yeah, that's him. I ran into him, literally, when I was leaving a meeting with Bradford." Veronica started to explain.

"Oh, so you were distracted with a pile of papers in your hand. That's not a shocker. Did you even see him coming?"

"No that's the thing. I didn't see it was him until I looked up from picking up the papers. He didn't seem surprised to see him. Then again, Wallace probably told him I was in the city by accident."

"So how can I be of service?" Fiona asked knowing it was likely why her friend was calling.

"He asked me for coffee, gave me his cell number and asked me to text him to set it up. I'm not sure what he was thinking putting all the decision-making in my hands. But what do I even say in the initial message and what do we talk about over coffee? I haven't seen or spoken to him before today in four years, and that was when I was breaking up with him." Veronica offered up.

"How about texting a simple 'Hey, it's Veronica. When are you free for that coffee?' It's straight, to the point and doesn't leave it open to anything more."

"Gahh, you're so right."

"As for what to talk about next time you see him, stick to your lives in New York and what you've both been doing in the past year in the city. Avoid bringing up Neptune for sure, but also consider staying away from the three years at Stanford. That could all easily take things for a turn for the worst." Fiona proceeded to clarify.

"How do you always make sense of things? You just expanded on what Mac suggested. I'd never have come up with any of that, probably because I'm still freaking out over this."

"Understandable. Just glad I could help you reason through it."

"Yeah, it's tough with how much history, mostly bad history, we have together. I never expected for him to come back into my life so soon. I never actually told you the details behind it all, did I?" Veronica started.

"Nope, you never seemed to want to."

"That year at Hearst was a roller coaster of a year. I stuck around Neptune for Logan Echolls. And I left because of him as well. He was my on and off again boyfriend in high school. The summer after graduation went so well and we started college on the up and up. Then things went downhill from there. He broke up with me, then we got back together, then I broke things off for good. Piz is the opposite of Logan. He's steady, calm and relatively normal. He was also Wallace's roommate. I think he always liked me, although I never realized that until way after the fact. It all just kind of happened and suddenly I was with Piz." Veronica paused through the monologue.

"Wow, never realized Piz was more of a rebound than anything else," commented Fiona.

"Yeah, so then there was major drama at the end of the year. A tape was made of me and Piz not having sex. Logan saw and beat up Piz believing he'd been the one to do it. I finally figured out who had taped us but decided it was better not to do anything about it. Logan beat up the guy in the student union. I was there, so was Piz. I reacted in a way that showed I was still in love with Logan. Piz saw. I ran…," continued Veronica.

"Wait, wait, wait?! A non-sex tape and beat-ups? No wonder you weren't keen on sharing your history at Stanford. Neptune's pretty messed up and you were in the middle of it until you left."

"Too true. I guess you're starting to actually understand why I left?" Veronica asked as Fiona nodded.

"So I ran back to my room and holed up until the next morning. Then I finally worked up the courage to head over to see Piz. We broke up with an extremely awkward final conversation. I left telling him I was heading to the FBI internship and then continuing on to transfer out of Hearst. That was the last I saw or heard of him since then." Veronica said as she finished summarizing the year at Hearst.

"Okay, now I understand better why you freaked out about seeing him. Just keep things light and in the present. It seems like having any of your past together come up right off the bat might not be the best."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for being so awesome. And sorry I just finally spilled it all on you. Just seemed to make sense but I'm so glad you could provided some unaffected advice. Mac tried but she was there for all of it and it didn't quite work."

"Not a problem, V. I'm here whenever you need me, and even when you don't."

"Right back atcha, Fi. Let's catch up sometime when I'm not freaking out and spilling out old stories from Neptune."

"You got it. Just give me a call when things settle down. Miss ya, girl."

"You too. Catch ya later." Veronica said ending the call.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

As Piz walked home from the radio station a faint smile graced his face. Even given their history, he'd always hoped he would run into Veronica Mars. No matter what, Veronica was always a good person to have in your corner. He'd long gotten over their break-up. Now he was okay the potential of a simple friendship with her.

He realized he was overdue for a chat with his best bud, Wallace, and that now was as good a time as any to share his encounter with the blonde. Wallace picked up on the first ring. "Yo, Piz! What's shakin'?"

"Just walking back from work. Figured you might be free for a chat."

"Always for you, ma man. Are you walking through Columbia Law again?" Wallace knew that Piz walked through the campus in hope of seeing Veronica, even if his friend had never actually shared that tidbit explicitly

"Yeah, you know it's the shortest route home. Although I did run into Veronica this morning."

"You ran into V? How's my best girl doing?"

"She seems good, although a little shocked to see me." Piz stated contemplated why she had been surprised.

"Piz, I'm pretty sure she had no idea you were even in New York, let alone working and living so close by," Wallace started to explain.

"Wait, really? No wonder. That makes so much more sense. But why didn't you tell her?"

"You do remember that she hasn't been to Neptune since she left Hearst. And she's only in touch with me, Mac and her dad from home. I didn't know what her reaction would be. What did you do though, dude, that made her react badly?" Wallace attempted to explain.

"Jeez then I really messed up. I put the ball in her court. Asked her for coffee to catch up and gave her my cell number requesting a text."

"Silly move. I hope for both your sakes she reaches out. She could use a friend outside of law school that she can actually see in person." Wallace explained having seen V's struggles from a far. "But she's always going on about this fresh start she wants so I'm not sure how this fits in."

"I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I'm sure you'll hear about it from one of us if it happens."

"For sure, I always know sometimes V needs my manly advice rather than a fellow woman's."

"So, how've you been?" Piz asked decidedly changing the subject.

"You know, I'm good, just trying to keep up. Sometimes I wonder why I went into business with Mac. Never thought I'd see the day where she'd be so crazy and controlling but I guess that's her determination and smarts coming through."

"Business is still going well, then? Any more thoughts to expanding out East? Would be great to see you more."

"Business is booming! Never thought I'd end up in computer engineering or that'd it'd be such a success. Mac has us developing some new ideas so I think that's our current focus rather than expansion."

"Glad to hear you're happy with it. I just go home so I'll let you get back to work. Good to hear all's well on the West Coast." Piz responded cutting the conversation short.

"Alright, catch ya later"

Fiona's mind was reeling ever since her chat with Veronica. She had so many questions but she didn't want to drill Veronica. Although she had gotten to know Mac and Wallace, she didn't quite feel comfortable approaching the topic with them. With that she decided it was time to give the elder Mars a call.

"Hello, Fiona. To what do I owe the pleasure of a call from you?" Keith cheerily answered the phone.

"I wouldn't call this call pleasure. V finally gave me the run down regarding the year at Hearst. I could use some answers from someone other than her."

"That's a big step for her. What spurred that on?" Keith had always been concerned that his daughter had never talked out those series of events. Until now, it always seemed like she wasn't willing to share her pre-Stanford life with those who were unaware.

"I guess she ran into Piz. She called me after Mac wasn't helpful enough. Once I gave some advice without the facts, she must have deemed it good enough to share the details."

"Oh, Piz. Knew he was in NYC but nothing more. So what do you want to know?"

"Well…" she paused trying to figure out how best to phrase it. "What was she really like before? How'd she end up in such a mess?"

Keith hesitated," that's a lot to answer. I guess since she gave you the Hearst history I might as well give you the rest."

"Oh, okay? There's more?" Fiona asked confused and concerned.

"Life in Neptune was no treat for veronica during her last years. She once was a sweet, innocent, happy-go-lucky girl. She even wore her hair long and sundress regularly." Keith prefaced knowing you couldn't understand the Veronica who left Neptune behind without understanding what she'd changed.

"Our Veronica? In sundresses and without her pixie hair? Wow." Fiona interrupted in semi-disbelief.

"Yes, she was a model daughter. We were a happy family, her mom, her and I. I was sheriff. We lived a comfortable life. She was happy with her boyfriend, her best friend and her friend's boyfriend. They were the four amigos; Veronica, Duncan, Lily and Logan."

Fiona interrupted Keith again, "Wait, who are Duncan and Lily? And this is the same Logan?"

"Same Logan. Duncan and Lily were siblings. Lily was her best friend, Duncan was her boyfriend," Keith continued explaining.

"Was?" Fiona asked shocked in response to the use of the word with Lily's name. She'd never heard of a Lily.

"Was. Lily was murdered when Veronica was in high school. That's when everything changed." Keith paused hearing Fiona gasp in disbelief, letting her process the big piece of history.

"From then on nothing was the same. I flubbed the investigation accusing the richest man in Neptune of murdering his own daughter. I was voted out of office. Veronica's mother left town unable to deal with our loss of status." Keith intentionally left out his former wife's name. She didn't warrant formal acknowledgement after everything she'd done. "I'm sure this is a lot to take in but I'm not quite done yet," Keith said pausing. He didn't want to overwhelm Fiona with the intense history that seemed crazier every time he thought it through.

"This is just the beginning? No wonder she's never wanted to rehash this. And no wonder you mentioned hoping she'd go to therapy back at graduation. Has she ever talked about it?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I think her way of dealing and processing was her investigative work. I fully believe though that it didn't heal her all the way."

"Alright, I'll keep trying to get her to go. Keep going." Fiona promised hoping she'd be able to help her best friend.

"Veronica became focused on trying to solve Lily's murder. I'm going sum-up the rest pretty quickly though. She can give you details if she ever feels comfortable. She ended up dating Logan the year after Lily's death. They reconnected after a period where she was made the social pariah. Their relationship was quite the rollercoaster throughout high school. Bear with me now. Eventually she figured out that Logan's father had been sleeping with Lily and had eventually been her killer as well. It all took a toll on Veronica." Keith paused giving Fiona a moment to take in what he'd summarized. "You may or may not have heard about the entire Aaron Echolls murder case. Veronica proceeded to focus on investigating and solving cases for both her classmates and as support role for Mars Investigations."

"So things are exponentially more messed up then V ever let on about? I always thought she was my best friend, but am I one of hers?" Fiona stumbled over her words. She was struggling with how to respond and process the details Keith had just revealed to her.

"Oh Fiona, of course you are. Those years were just so trying for her. When she finally broke up with Piz and left Neptune still in love with Logan, she needed a fresh start. You were a part of that. She was running but you kept her grounded. Maybe Piz returning to her life will help her stop running." Keith attempted to assuage Fiona's fears. "I'm so thankful that throughout everything she's had you, Mac and Wallace."

"Okay. Thanks Keith. I know you didn't have to share all that with me, it's not your story, but I appreciate it immensely. I have so much more clarity. I still don't know what I'll say to V next time we talk, but I'll have more perspective and a better understanding."

"Anytime, Fiona. Really. Do let me know if you have any further questions or concerns. And don't be afraid to talk to Veronica. She may be hard headed, but she could use some blunt support sometimes."

"Alright," Fiona agreed. "Oh and before I forget, it looks like I'll be in San Diego in a few months for a conference. I'll let you know details when I have them."

"Sounds great, you know I always love to see you." And with that both hung up the phone.

Fiona sat down trying to grapple with everything she had just learned. She wasn't sure if she more and less questions after what Keith had revealed. No wonder Veronica had always been so closed off.


	8. Author's Note

**Dear Readers,**

**I didn't want to be in a position to do this, but I am and I feel so completely sad about it. And I know that it hasn't been that long since I first began posting "Whatever This Is" but here goes.**

**I just switched to a new full time job and while I love both the new job and writing this story, right now I need to focus on the new job. I want to be able to give "Whatever This Is" the best attention it deserves.**

**You may have noticed that this is the first story I have posted. That's because I spent forever trying to decide whether to write the story at all. Then I began writing the story and waited until I had written a good deal before even contemplating posting the story.**

**I have never considered myself a writer, but with the amazing support of my Veronica Mars ladies, I took the leap and it has felt both amazingly gratifying as well as insanely terrifying. I often write, for myself, but I consider myself a visual artist first and even more so a photographer.**

**I hope you wait with me through this hiatus while I settle into my new life, but I understand if you don't. **

**I feel horrible leaving you with such an unknown within the story but since my mind isn't able to devote what the story needs at the present moment, I have to let it go for a while.**

**I have greatly appreciated all feedback so far and please feel free to reach out me throughout this break from this story. There is so much more to "Whatever This Is" and I hope to be back soon to complete what is already developing slowly in my head.**

**All the best, **

**-rgonzberg**


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